Thursday, September 23, 2010

There is Praying and Then There Is Praying




I want to start with, well not a fresh set of tears, but here come the tears, but happy tears. We are overwhelmed by the love and prayers poured out last night for our Cole Bear.

Before I tell you what happened when the call went out to pray and after that call.
I want everyone to have some relief and joy this morning. I am going to tell you some things that will make you smile and maybe make you laugh and probably do the laugh/cry because you are relieved.

Last night Cole was knocked out with his sedation and pain killers and he tried to tear his breathing tube out so they restrained him. Cole was out of it and the nurses were saying "he's a wild man, we can tell he is going to be wild when he is awake." Matt and I smiled, they have no idea what they are in for when he is up and about.

Late last night after they got Cole stabalized they were able to extubate Cole. They thought in his case it might be better if he tried breathing on his own. After they took the breathing tube out he said in a croaky whisper "want juice." For us as Cole's mommy and daddy to hear that, we knew our little man must be doing a lot better! Around 11 he asked for Thomas and G (Tom and Jerry) and then we really knew he must be getting back to himself. Auntie K went to Walmart late last night (thankfully they are 24 hours) and I think bought every Tom and Jerry DVD they had!

Matt and I stayed down the hall from Cole. We were not planning on staying because we all didn't expect Cole to do what he did. Matt went home to grab a few things. They handed us a key. It was not like when Chris Harrison from Bachelor/Bachelorette hands them a letter and key to the fantasy suite, but we were grateful for anything to stay close to Cole!

One of my sisters, my little sis Izz described, how a lot of us felt and feel today. "I cried so hard and so much and prayed so hard, it felt like a cry hangover this morning."

Girls from Cafe Breakaway I don't know if I will be able to look at you for a long time without crying everytime I see you.

Everyone from people who don't even know us or Cole and to people that have known us for a few years to people who have known us our whole lives stepped up last night for Cole and for us. We felt waves of these prayers last night.

Pretty soon it's going to sound like I'm up here for an Emmy Award with the thank you's. First I'd like to thank God and then.....................not really but we truly do want to Thank God and every single one of you for praying and praying hard. I don't even know if it's so much how hard we prayed because I couldn't do anything but watch and didn't know what to pray. I just kept saying "please help" and get to the point where I knew something was really wrong and at one very low point acceptance just came in and I said to God "so this is what it feels like to see you take our baby back.".....................Indian Giver. No, I was respectful, I didn't say that. It's a weird thing to believe what you believe as a believer and on the other side how you feel as a mommy. As a mommy and daddy we were and aren't ready to let go and never is any mommy and daddy ready to let go.

Anyways this morning I went up to 6th floor in Levines CVICU to Room 5 and it was empty. I turned around and just said Cole Griffin and she smiled and said "oh he's down the hall." Another nurse showed me around the corner and down the hall where room 9 was. I didn't know what to prepare myself for and when I walked around the corner my eyes popped and my mouth dropped. I couldn't believe the same Cole from last night was in front of me this morning. He was sitting up and had had some juice. His nurse said "we are not friends (her and Cole) right now because I have been messing with him." She said he had removed his IV on his own so she asked Dr. Watts what she could start removing because Cole Trouble Griffin was going to remove it himself.
Cole is very drugged so he didn't know who I was at the moment. The nurse had blonde hair and had said earlier she was standing in the corner while another nurse took care of some stuff on Cole and he looked over at her and said "mommy" and started crying. Yes, more tears right now from me (mom) just typing that.
He just wanted juice and more juice. Matt is upstairs with him right now as I try to gather thoughts and try to put myself in all of your shoes being on the outside wanting to know and seeing it through our eyes.



Now I will tell you what happened yesterday around 4. We had not been in there long after they had moved him out of surery into CVICU when Cole's heart rate started rising. He had a temperature and that makes your heart beat faster too so they had ice around his head and neck and in his "hospital pants" buzz and woody pull up. We got his temperature down and we removed the ice, but his heart rate was getting higher and higher, he was up to 200 BPM for a long time. Blood pressure kept dropping. All the sudden there were 8 to 10 cardio nurses, doctors. One of the cardiologists was Cole's cardiologist. Matt and I knew something was really wrong but I kept saying if he's that close to dying they wouldn't let us stay. They did an eco and it wasn't showing what they thought might be the problem. They thought there might be too much fluid around the heart or a block in the fenustration (sp).
This whole time you have never seen so many syringes of medicine being pumped in and everyone is moving and doing and discarded things are falling where they drop and it's very controlled chaos. Matt and I are sitting there like statues afraid to move, or ask anything. I am not a medical girl but I knew enough to know that it didn't look good for Cole and I entertained the thought that he might not make it, but I just kept thinking they wouldn't let us be in here if it's so close. I would have moments where I couldn't cry and wanted to. Then I would go to cry and would suck it up because I was afraid I couldn't stop. We did this for 3 or so hours watching Cole's monitors go the wrong way until his blood pressure was 40/over something in the teens. Very slowly after 7pm Cole's monitors, little by little, started showing his heart rate come down, his blood pressure start to go up one number at a time.
Around 7ish our amazing head nurse thanks everyone for coming to her rescue and Cole's rescue. Matt and I still had no idea how close we all came to losing Cole. One of the nurses came up to Matt and said I can't believe you two sat there calm like you did and watched us do this and watched your son do that. What were we going to do? We would have only messed them up from saving Cole by getting in the way.
Later our nurse told Matt that Cole "pre-coded" and she was getting ready for him to code.
So for all of us, and I mean, all of us wether you were here or in your home or across the United States, we didn't know how serious last night was, but God decided in favor of so many prayers. I don't know why or why us and why Cole, but we can't even say we are thankful. We are beyond thankful. We have been with families over the years up here that don't get such good news and don't get to take their little one home and they have prayed and people across the nation have prayed and we have prayed and they don't get to keep their baby.

We will take today and this minute and make the most of it because God has each breath in his plan. It doesn't mean that a part of us still isn't hesitating letting our guard down because of what Cole did and they said could do again, but we don't want to waste time with him or eachother focused on that part.

We love you all and we couldn't have done last night without out all of you pouring your hearts and prayers out. I need to get back and see our Cole Bear. Matt probably thinks I skipped the country by now:)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

After reading your blog this morning Gail and I are praising the Lord and rejoicing at the good news. Last nite I was at the lowest point of my life when Cole was strugling to survive. As I worried the only thought that held me together was that God had brought Cole so far since he was born, that it made no sense to drop him now.
Grandmother Gail keeps saying; Thank you Jesus for rescuing Cole and for answering the prayers of countless people. To God be the glory for all He has done !!
Love you, Chief and Mama Gail

Anonymous said...

I was so glad to see your little man sitting up in that bed! I will continue to keep Cole and your family in my prayers.

DeAnne Jordan said...

Matt and Laura,
We are so thankful to hear that Cole is doing so much better. After I spoke to my Mom yesterday around 6pm, I just started sobbing and praying. All I could think about was how the two of you must be feeling. I never want to feel that fear. The fear of potentially losing your precious child is just unthinkable. I know that was (and to some degree, still is) your reality. All we can do is pray and try to remember that God has a plan. Thank you so much for your blog. It really was a blessing to be able to "hear" from you and to know how to pray. I sat at the computer @ 1am this morning just looking @ that beautiful baby. Thinking of your family and lifting you all up. I think about you often and the prayers will continue.
Love,
DeAnne & Matt Jordan

Anonymous said...

Matt & Laura,
Last night Zibi sent out a prayer request for Cole and Michael and I prayed for him right away as well early this morning. We had no idea the urgency of his situation. I am so sorry you had to even go through anything like that and cannot imagine being in the room and experiencing it. Little Cole has a whole troop of prayer warriors out there and count us in! God is still in the business of healing and saving lives! Thank you Lord for being present with this family! We will continue to lift you all in prayer and will keep a close eye on the blog for any updates. We love you both and pray that tonight brings you peaceful rest.
Blessings,
Margie & Michael Heskett

Griffin Family said...

Chief - It was the lowest point of my life too, but to say it was the lowest point of your life broke me up a bit. After all, you have been around for almost 80 years and have been through some "stuff" before.

Anonymous - Thank you. The prayer is amazing! We can feel it making a difference.

DeAnne - Wow, what a heart you have. That is so cool. Laura and I agreed that it was the darkest day we had ever had, but the Bible says that faith is a gift and I guess the Lord would not give that gift if he didn't intend for us to use it. Thank you for your thoughts and concern.

Griffin Family said...

Hey Heskett Fam-

I am glad that Zibi sent out that request. We tried to tell who we could and we hoped that the word would spread and it did!

Thanks so much for lifting us up. Cole has responded well today and his surgeon was pleased with how all of his numbers looked today. It is a daily battle and we are trusting God to bring us all through.

God Bless Ya'll!

Matt and Laura

Anonymous said...

hers We,rejoice with you for this wonderful God Given turn around! Mother and I will continue to lift up all of you in prayer! God is faithful indeed! Cole is a dear boy and we love him too, along wth many others. May God continue to richly bless your family in a mighty way! Love, Edie & Lynn